i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he thought i was a dude.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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