So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
