I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
