Well apparently he's into motor boating.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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