when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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