I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Alive.
So much puke
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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