I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
