i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
