you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
