That's when you crack a 10am beer
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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