that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
