Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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