Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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(518): View more from New York

You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window

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(360): View more from Washington

kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?

(+48): View more from Poland

Poland

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(419): View more from Ohio

You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress

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(585): View more from New York

I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper

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