we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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