Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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