If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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