Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
