I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
