How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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