so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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