Where is the hickey?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
