Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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