We're facebook friends in real life
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
