forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
