Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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