my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize