just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
