I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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