I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dicks are not precious.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
