how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
