Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
