Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
