We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
