I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
