Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
