i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
