So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
