Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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