i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize