My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's shark week go big or go home
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize