Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
