3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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