We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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