Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
