they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
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They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
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I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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