does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
