did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
