this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
