If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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