I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
