We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
