so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
