I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
