Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize