dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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