Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
