Non-Jews are for practice
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
honey bunches of taint.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
50% drunk capacity currently
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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