can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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