I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
