Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
