my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
