I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
