Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
