I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize