We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
