No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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